kilts aren't too bad!

When we last left off, we were arriving at the hotel for the reception. The girls went straight to the party, while the guys went up to the bridal suite to change into our kilts. Yes, you can rent kilts! A company called Scotland Yard had a very friendly and easy to use website to get them from. None of us have ever worn a kilt before, so we didn't think it would be too bad, and all in all it really wasn't, but there was some confusion for a while which resulted in a half dozen or so guys standing around in their underwear trying to figure out how to get dressed. I got close on my first try. I only had it backwards and wrapped wrong. There are three buckles to hold it together, and I put the wrong part in the middle at first, so I could only get at one of them. And half of the kilt has lots of pleats in it, which are supposed to go in the back I found out. So a half twist around and a rewrap and I was in my kilt! Throw on some knee high socks, stick a knife (which they also rented out!) in one, put on your shoes that lace up around your legs, clip on the sporran (aka crotch guard/purse combo!), and thow on a new jacket and we were set!

Of course, this all took waaaay too long for the girls, and we all got chewed out for taking so much time when we got to the reception. As if we have never stood around waiting for girls to get ready! Anyways, we make our grand entrace to much cheering and a few laughs, but overall, I have to say...we looked damn good!

Dinner was promptly served, and that was some really good food. But before I could find this out, I suddenly realized that it was speech time. And to be perfectly honest, I was still feeling some of the effects of the beverages from the limo ride. I have never been a best man before, and so this was my first speech to give at a wedding, and I suddenly noticed just how many people were there. There were actually four of us to give speeches, since there were two best men and two matrons of honor, but the way it was going, Julie and I were doing speeches, and Mike and Erica read off a celtic wedding prayer. And they all decided that I got to go first. First thought through my head: should have written this down! But I step up to the mic, and it all flows pretty well. Some parts didn't come out as eloquently as I originally intended them, but I had a lot of laughs from everyone there, so I think it went pretty well. I saw one picture which shows John and I laughing, and Lisa has a forced looking smile on her face, so I think I know exactly when that was taken. At one point in the speech I pointed out that John was one of the last guys to get married from our group, and as such, I had prepared a little tutorial for him to catch up to the rest of us. It consisted of learning the line "Yes, dear," "I'm sorry, that's my fault," "Let me do that for you," and then I said "No, that doesn't make you look...oh, wait, sorry! That's from the advanced class!" I know the guys thought it was funny. The girls looked less than amused. That's ok, I can live with keeping half of the people laughing.

Having survived that, I could now move on to dinner. Which was one of the most tender, flavorful New York strip steaks that I've ever had in my life. Followed by some amazing cake, and then a chocolate fountain with cakes and fruits to dip into it. Oh...that was a great meal!

The dancing started up, and much to the surprise of my wife, I was up there dancing most the entire time. Usually at weddings, I don't dance much. A cross between wanting to socialize with everyone and the fact that I have two left feet and am the whitest man alive when it comes to dancing. But that night I said screw it. I'm at the best wedding that I have ever been to, I'm in a kilt, let's rock this place! And so we went nuts. And it was a blast. At one point, they put on some Flogging Molly, and we all tried to do Irish jigs to it. Tried was most definitely the applicable word here. I'm told everyone had a great time watching it, but I have a feeling it wasn't for the quality of the dance. Oh, well. At least they were laughing!

One of the funniest quotes of the night came from one of the bridesmaids who came up to a bunch of us in kilts and asked "are you guys wearing underwear under those?" To which most of us replied yes. Her response: "I'm not wearing any. Why are you?" I didn't really have a good answer to that. But later in the night (read: several drinks later) one of the groomsmen who was going...regimental...all night pointed out: How many times are you going to be wearing a kilt at an Irish wedding on St. Patrick's Day? Shouldn't you do it right? I couldn't argue with him, so I wandered off the restroom and modified my attire. So yes, I can now say that I have worn a kilt properly. 8-) Towards the end of the night, I ended up putting them back on though when someone else said "How many other people have gone regimental in that rental kilt?" I couldn't argue with him either, so the boxers went right back on. 8-)

This was, by far, the most fun that I have ever had on St. Patrick's Day, and something that I will remember each year for the rest of my life. It was also the most fun that I've had at any wedding, besides my own of course. Thanks again to John and Lisa for making us a part of your day. It was a great honor for us to be included. You guys are the best, and we hope you have a long and great life together.

And remember, if someone asks you what do you wear under a kilt, the answer is: socks and shoes.